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My dad left me this morning

December 9, 2012

And all the rest of the people whose lives he touched. I kissed his cheek, which included his stubbly 4 day old white beard, said “goodbye, Dad, I love you” and left him in that morphine-induced sleep. I flew home and 12 hours later my brother called. I have had nine months of preparation, but I seem to be totally unprepared for the waves of tears, for the sorrow, for the finality. Losing a parent happens to everyone. It is the rite of life and by now you would think humankind would have figured out a way to dull the pain so you don’t hurt so damn much. What if he had been the poster kind of father? Would I be in less pain?  Nope, don’t think so. He was my father. My mother said that if I let the grieving process happen I would come through this naturally.  She is 87 so I accept her wisdom in this. So tomorrow I will be glad that I made it to 60 before experiencing this pain. Tomorrow I will be grateful for him being my father. Tomorrow I will find a way to start to celebrate his remarkable life.

But right now my nose is plugged up, my eyes are swollen, and I am deeply saddened that he left.

  1. Deep peace to you along your journey. Breathe.

  2. Vicky White permalink

    Bless your heart.

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